Someone Needs to Hear Your Story! Here’s Mine

I was a great student. I was a good daughter. I never danced freaky with anyone, mainly because I am uncoordinated and didn’t want to embarrass myself. I never did drugs, never smoked, and I only used profanity when I got into a fight (or rode a roller coaster with my oldest cousin). So, by normal standards, I was a pretty good, innocent kid, right?

Here is what you need to know about the quiet child. She is a people pleaser, sneaky, manipulative and learns early on to be smart and cover up her sin. Or, she just might be that good of a child. Wish that were my case.

( Please know that I am NOT boasting in my sin. Only sharing my past because it should not be a secret anyway, and to demonstrate Christ’s work in my life).

I was a compulsive liar, even though I was horrible at lying. I used to watch porn as a very young girl. Although I was not addicted I didn’t see what was wrong with it. I once thought about kissing a girl. Yeah. etc.

Living in all of that, this was the sin that gripped me the tightest. I had no self control. Ready to punch anyone that made me angry. I almost got into a fight with my oldest sister because she was “tired of me fighting her battles”. I DID get into a fist fight with my oldest sister because she smacked a sandwich out of my hand. I plotted together with my sister, to beat up my mother. We both would have probably gotten really hurt that day. Whatever I wanted to do in the heat of the moment, I did. I said nasty, hurtful things to people I love.

My husband told me when we were dating that if I didn’t get my anger under control, that he would not marry me. WHAT!? How dare he say I have anger issues. Well, in his words I was “Psycho”. That was my trigger word. So to prove I wasn’t psycho I went all crazy on him. Way to go Melinda!

After years of allowing anger, rage, plain old sin to control me, I finally realized I needed major help because pulling a knife on someone you love is not how you handle family issues, normally.

I saw a counselor in College for about a month. She gave me some exercises and practical ways to learn to communicate. She said that communicating with my words before I reach the point of rage would decrease my out breaks. I was enlightened. I knew how to begin sharing how I felt in words instead of just expressing it with my fist. It is still difficult to do but that is when the Biblical principles I have learned come into play. I know I should pursue peace. I should be humble. I should ask for wisdom. Seek knowledge. Pray. I should love my neighbor as myself. And above all else I should love God. These things aren’t all easy. I used to say that being a Christian is easy. I was so mistaken. To live a Godly life and not just keep a few of the major commandments is extremely difficult.

I thank God for people in my life who see the new me, the new thing God has created in me. He knew me when I was a sinner. Even when everyone thought “What a sweet, good girl” he knew my heart. I was a hurting, broken person on the inside with a beautiful smile and a great mask. God saw through it all and forgave me for it all. Praise God!

Remember, he searches our hearts. Don’t be ashamed to say, this is me God, forgive me. It’s not like He doesn’t know. You’re not too dirty for Jesus’ blood to cleanse. He didn’t come to save the righteous, but to save the imperfect, best sinner out there. Begin to allow Him to cleanse you. To renew you. And to use you for His glory. Someone needs to hear your story.

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1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

**I am thankful that I have reached a point in life where I can share my past and struggles with no shame. I couldn’t share Christ’s power in my life if you never knew what things he had  to save me from. Thanks for allowing me to share!**

People Complain about this Generation, but they forget who Raised it!

I read somewhere a couple of days ago that “people complain about this generation, but they forget who raised it”. I thought, ouch! Now ain’t that the truth. So, instead of complaining, what do we do. I came across a “31 Days of Praying for your children” group on Facebook that helped me. My husband and I were just talking about how we want our children to learn to be prayerful in everything, not just when they urgently need God or are praying over a meal. We want them to seek God in everything. So, we must obviously be the example. And we must also remember to pray for our children.

Here are a few short prayers from the Facebook group I found just to get you headed in the right direction. Because I know what it is to become redundant in my prayer time. I feel God is like, ” Okay woman, you just said the same thing 5 times! I hear you.”

So, enjoy your time of praying over your children’s lives and over the lives of the children in this generation.

31 Days of Praying for your Children

Day 1 – Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory. (Isaiah 45:8, 2 Timothy 2:10)

Day 2 – I pray that they may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 3:18)

Day 3 – Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who dwells in them. (Ephesians 5:2; Galatians 5:22)

Day 4 – May integrity and honesty by their virtue and their protection. (Psalm 25:21)

Day 5 – Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be alert and self-controlled in all they do. (1 Thes. 5:6)

Day 6 – May my children grow to find Your Word more precious than gold, than much pure gold; and sweeter than honey from the comb. (Psalm 19:10)

Day 7 – God, help my children to love justice as You do and to act justly in all they do. (Psalm 11:7, Micah 6:8)

Day 8 – May my children always be merciful, just as their Father is merciful. (Luke 6:36

Day 9 – Father, grant that my children may show proper respect to everyone as Your Word commands. (1 Peter 2:17a)

Day 10 – Help my children develop their identity in Christ that is rooted in the realization that they are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:10)

Day 11 – Let love and faithfulness never leave my children, but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts. (Proverbs 3:3)

Day 12 – Lord, may my children always be strong and courageous in their character and in their actions. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Day 13 – Create in them a pure heart, O God; and let their purity of heart be shown in their actions. (Psalm 51:10)

Day 14 – Lord, may my children always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. (1 Thes. 5:15)

Day 15 – Grant that my children may be generous and willing to share and so lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age.
(1 Tim. 6:18-19).

Day 16 – Father, let my children make every effort to do what leads to peace. (Romans 14:19)

Day 17 – May my children be filled with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. (1 Thes. 1:6)

Day 18 – Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to run with perseverance the race marked out for them. (Hebrews 12:1)

Day 19 – God, please cultivate in my children the ability to show true humility toward all. (Titus 3:2)

Day 20 – Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion. (Colossians 3:12)

Day 21 – Grant that my children may learn responsibility, for each one should carry his own load. (Galatians 6:5)

Day 22 – Father, teach my chldren the secret of being content in any and every situation. . . through Him who gives them strength. (Phil. 4:12-13)

Day 23 – I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children’s hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them. (Luke 17:5-6, Hebrews 11:1-40)

Day 24 – God, please help my children develop servant hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, ‘as to the Lord, and not to men.’ (Eph. 6:7)

Day 25 – May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Hebrews 12:1)

Day 26 – Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, as working for the Lord, not for men. (Colossians 3:23)

Day 27 – Lord, please instill in my children a soul that followeth hard after thee, a heart that clings passionately to You. (Psalm 63:8)

Day 28 – Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair. (Proverbs 1:3)

Day 29 Grant, Lord, that my children’s lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. (Ephesians 6:18)

Day 30 – Help my children to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Col. 2:7, Ephesians 5:20)

Day 31 – Lord, please help my children to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see Your glory (declared) among the nations, Your marvelous deeds among all peoples. (Psalm 96:3)

One Year Ago Today: Why March 3rd is so Special.

Today The Gore Family celebrates 1 year of Jolee joining our family. Some who adopt call this day their “Gotcha Day”. I like it.  On March 3rd, 2011 we received Jolee Brooke. I wanted to take a few minutes to think back a year about the feelings I experienced on this day.

Feelings then:

Terrified because I was 3 weeks from giving birth to Jalynne.

Scared because we didn’t know if she had any health issues. We were told it could be very possible that she was born with HIV. (I thank God for a fully healthy girl).

Nervous because I didn’t know how to be a mom.

Horrible because of the reasons I came up with that at the moment seemed good enough to say no to this precious baby.

Feelings now:

I am such a proud mom. I am thankful that my husband showed me we could and would be great parents to Jolee. I am grateful for the parenting guidance I receive from family and friends. I am no longer fearful that we will not be able to support our family financially. Simply put, trusting God has grown our family physically and obviously spiritually. God is good. He had a plan for Me, Romon, Jolee, and Jalynne. His is sovereign and I am glad he choose us to love and care for our Jolee Brooke. I am glad he chose her to be our first daughter and big sister to Jalynne. I am grateful that our family and friends love Jolee unconditionally. And that she will never know the feeling of rejection, the feeling of being unloved.

The dress Jolee came to us in

March 3, 2011- THE Day

Daddy holding and staring at Jolee

Mommy and Jolee time before sister arrives

Jolee on her Birthday- February 26th

Thanks for all of your prayers in the beginning and for your continued prayers for our family. And support. And love. We are blessed!!!!